Blind Trust: A Military Romantic Suspense (Men of Steele Book 6) Read online

  Lindsey withheld a sigh. Wasn’t that the whole problem? Without Megan on their side, Lindsey had little to offer. Megan hadn’t managed to kill her, but she’d well and truly fucked her and Todd. “I have the evidence I gathered about the money laundering, but I can’t prove Meg was willingly involved, or tie anything back to the sheriff directly. Maybe a forensic investigator with a warrant…” She glanced at Marti, who frowned back. “For the rest, I was hoping that your CSI people or whatever could tell how the deputy really died, and determine how things went down at the cabins.”

  Wendy glanced at Special Agent Ahmad. “I have some bad news on that front.”

  Dread coiled in Lindsey’s belly like a snake. “What?”

  “Someone set fire to the compound last night.”

  Around lunchtime, an agent who never bothered to introduce himself to Todd retrieved him from the interrogation room, let him make two coffees in the break room, and led him to a conference room.

  Inside, Lindsey stood at the window, looking out over the city of Helena and the trees trimmed in fall colors. She was so beautiful, so strong, and he hadn’t expected to see her again.

  She turned to look at him, her gorgeous eyes wide, and in that moment, he couldn’t deny it. All those wild feelings? That painful freefall his heart had been in since practically the moment they’d met?

  He was in love.

  He wanted to kneel at her feet and tell her he’d changed his mind, that he’d been a fool. That he’d do whatever it took to have her in his life.

  It was irrational and inconvenient, and probably pointless under the circumstances—nothing had changed since last night—but absolutely undeniable.

  Fuck. How had that happened?

  Stuffing the unwelcome realization into a footlocker in his mind, he entered the room and set the steaming paper cups on the table. “I brought you a coffee.”

  “Thanks.”

  As soon as the agent left them alone, Todd crossed the room, eager to hold her, to reassure himself that she was whole and unharmed. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded and crossed her arms, shifting away from him. “Neither of us has been arrested yet, so that’s a win.”

  He frowned. “What’s the matter?”

  “Besides the obvious?” She sidled past him and took a coffee from the table, wrapping both hands around the cup. “Last night you told me in unequivocal terms that our relationship was over, that we couldn’t even be friends.”

  Damn his big mouth. “Maybe I was wrong.”

  “No. You can’t yank me around like that. Nothing has changed.”

  She was right. He didn’t want to hurt her more than he already had. And now was not the time to try to repair the damage.

  “Where’s Marti?” she asked.

  “She had to go to the office, but we’re not supposed to answer any questions without her.”

  “Any idea what’s happening?” Lindsey took a sip of coffee and winced. “Why are we in here?”

  “Wendy said they needed the interrogation rooms, and since we’re in a heavily guarded federal building, I guess she’s not worried about us doing a runner.”

  They sat in tense silence while Lindsey toyed with the cardboard sleeve on her cup.

  How could he regain her trust? Words were cheap. Actions were what mattered. Which meant he needed time.

  And patience.

  He snorted. Not his strong suit.

  Sure, he could sit surveillance or stand guard for endless hours, but that wasn’t the same as wanting something more than you’d ever wanted anything in your life and having to wait for it. He’d always been the first one up on Christmas morning, banging on his mom’s and brothers’ doors and yelling, “Present time!” Yeah, he’d been an impatient little shit.

  Probably still was, just taller.

  Restless, but also ready to sleep for a week, he snagged a pad of notepaper and a pen from the center of the table and began doodling. Without thought, an image of Lindsey began to emerge. The curve of her chin, the curl of her hair, her warm expressive eyes.

  Something in his chest pinched, and he flipped to a blank sheet. The last thing he needed was for her to see him sketching her like some kind of obsessed stalker.

  After lunch brought in from a local deli, and another hour of scanning through old issues of Foreign Affairs that one of the agents had scrounged from somewhere, Wendy walked through the door.

  “Okay, y’all, I have some news.”

  Todd’s heart skipped. “Good news?”

  “Mostly.” She almost smiled. “We managed to round up the sheriff and some of his collaborators, including the guy whose truck you stowed away in. A couple of them are willing to flip on Sheriff Decker, and they’ve corroborated much of your story. You’re both in the clear for Harris, and based on the salvageable evidence where Pete’s body was found, the DA isn’t planning to charge you for his death either.”

  All the air rushed from Todd’s lungs and he started to shake. He hadn’t realized how tightly he’d been holding it together.

  Lindsey sighed, her shoulders dropping. Yesterday, circling the table to hug her would have been a no-brainer.

  “What’s the not-good news?” he asked, trying to get his heart rate under control.

  Wendy grimaced. “Megan Lassiter fled shortly after your escape yesterday. Passport control has a record of her driving through the Blaine-Surrey border crossing near Vancouver early this morning.”

  “She’s in Canada?” Lindsey frowned and rubbed her forehead. “I guess that’s good. I thought if she got away she might come after us.”

  “She still could,” Todd said.

  Wendy sent him a what-the-hell look. “The money laundering scheme is already blown. You’re no longer a threat to her.”

  “Maybe.” The tightness of Lindsey’s mouth told Todd she wasn’t convinced.

  “Well, she’s a fugitive now,” Wendy said. “We’ll be monitoring for any activity. If she resurfaces, law enforcement will grab her. But, obviously, be careful until we have her in custody.”

  “Be careful?” Todd repeated. “Does that mean you’re letting us go?”

  “Soon. Give me another hour or two, and if you need anything, don’t go back to the corridor with the interrogation rooms, all right?”

  He nodded.

  Wendy’s phone buzzed and she pulled it from her pocket and then frowned at it. “Hang on, I’ll be right back.”

  Todd ran a hand through his hair and turned to Lindsey. “Holy shit. I’m not sure I believe it yet.”

  “I know.” She braced her hands on her knees and took a shaky breath. “Thank God, though. I was so worried you were going to prison.” A tear streaked down her face.

  “Hey.” Todd stood and rounded the table.

  She held out her hand and shook her head. “Please, don’t.”

  He stopped in his tracks.

  The door opened and Wendy barged in, oblivious to the tension, her expression dark. “Lindsey, I need you to look at something for me.” She slapped a photo on the table. “Do you recognize this woman?”

  “Yeah, that’s—” Lindsey frowned and peered closer. “Actually, no. At first glance she looks like Megan, but it’s not her.”

  “Are you sure?” Wendy asked.

  “Of course. I’ve known her for almost ten years.” Lindsey pointed to the picture. “This woman’s eyes are different, and something about her chin. I don’t know, but it’s definitely not Megan.” She glanced up, her brow furrowed. “Who is it?”

  “That’s the woman who crossed the border with Megan’s passport.”

  “Fuck,” Todd said. A decoy.

  “Unfortunately, it gets worse.” Wendy cleared her throat. “Lindsey, one of your neighbors called the police this morning because someone vandalized your front door.”

  “Vandalized how?”

  “The picture’s pretty graphic.” Wendy unlocked her phone, tapping on the screen before setting it on the table.

&nbs
p; Lindsey gasped and her face turned stark white.

  Todd came around and bent over the table to view the photo. Motherfucker.

  Someone had tacked a bloody piece of gray sweatshirt—like the one Pete had been wearing at the cabin—to the door with a hunting knife. Scrawled in thick, wet red letters beneath were the words: YOUR TURN.

  The tremors started in Lindsey’s hands and radiated out until she trembled from head to toe.

  Megan wasn’t in Canada; she was in California.

  She’d been to Lindsey’s apartment.

  Nausea climbed her throat as the panic set in. “I need to call my parents, warn them.”

  “Sure, but they already know.”

  “How?” Lindsey looked up at the blonde, even more grateful that she was a friend of Todd’s and not some random bureaucrat.

  “When the property manager couldn’t get ahold of you, they called your emergency contact. Your dad got in touch with Kurt Steele, who I guess had sent him an update on your status yesterday, and Kurt passed it on to your lawyer.”

  What a mess. “Can I call them?”

  Wendy nodded. “I’ll get instructions on how to call out from here.”

  Numb, all she could do was nod.

  Half an hour later, after an exhausting, tear-filled conversation with her mom and dad, during which they’d ridden the high of her and Todd’s freedom and the low of Megan’s threat, Lindsey laid her head on her arms and closed her eyes.

  Unable to convince her parents to leave town, she’d at least made them promise to stay with her aunt in Long Beach for a few days. She’d also suggested they quit answering their phones, since reporters kept calling for background on their stories.

  Would her business survive her becoming a headline?

  Large, warm hands slid across her shoulders, kneading gently, releasing the tension in her neck. Her chest fluttered, and she wanted to give in, to let Todd work out every painful knot and ease the tightness in her chest with his loving touch.

  But that way lay more heartbreak.

  She wiggled to dislodge him. “I can’t.”

  “Sorry.” He removed his hands, taking his warmth and comfort. “I just hate to see you suffering.”

  Sitting up straight, she lifted her chin and watched him as he sank into a chair several feet away. “You can’t have it both ways. We’re either friends or we’re not. And since nothing has changed, we’re not.”

  “Lindsey—”

  “Which means as soon as we leave here, I’ll never see or speak to you again.”

  He winced.

  She continued, forcing out the words, building the wall between them that she needed to survive. “I appreciate everything you’ve done to help me. I owe you my life, and I’ll never be able to make it up to you. But if you care about me at all—”

  “You know I do,” he said, sounding affronted.

  “Then, shake my hand and say goodbye, because there’s too much crap going on for me to spend my energy on something that’s never going to happen.”

  No matter how much she ached to reach for him, doing so would only prolong the inevitable, and she needed every ounce of brainpower to confront Megan’s threat.

  Moving to stand before Todd, she etched the lines of his handsome face into memory, locking away every precious moment of their brief affair.

  She held out her hand, hoping he wouldn’t notice how she trembled.

  He rose slowly, his gaze never leaving hers, and gently pushed her arm down to her side. “No.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  “WHAT DO YOU mean ‘no’?” Lindsey asked, crossing her arms and taking a step back.

  The conference room smelled like hot dust, new carpet, and stale coffee, and he wanted to sweep her up and take her back to the mountains where nothing came between them and everything made sense.

  Where he could keep her safe, and make love to her under the stars.

  “I mean no, I’ve realized I can’t make a clean break and walk away from you.”

  “Todd.” Her face reddened. “Goddamn you. Nothing’s changed since last night, and it’s not fair for you to keep flip-flopping on me. I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with it.”

  “I’ve changed,” he said softly, hating that he was causing her distress. “I know it seems sudden. It sort of was, but also not.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  He started to reach for her, to soothe the confusion on her face, but forced his hands to his sides. He wouldn’t touch her until he was welcome.

  Heart pounding, he cleared his throat. “I love you.”

  Something like hope lit behind her eyes, but she backed away, shaking her head. “No, you don’t. Last night, you said—”

  “Last night, I was a coward. Too scared to tell you how I really feel.”

  “I thought you had no filter,” she shot back.

  “Self-preservation makes a good muzzle. As does denial.” He wanted to pull Lindsey into his arms and never let her go.

  He’d put it all out there, placed his heart in her hands, but his rejection the night before had damaged the tenuous trust they’d built. Of course it had. He’d been such a fucking fool. In trying to protect himself, he’d ended up hurting her.

  Her lips pressed flat and she broke eye contact. “And how do I know you won’t change your mind again tomorrow?”

  He should’ve seen that coming. “You don’t, but I’d like a chance to prove it.” Unable to help himself, he clasped her hands in his, and—thank God—she didn’t pull away. “Lindsey, I’ve never been in love with a woman before. All I knew was that if I let you in for the long haul and we couldn’t find a way to make it work, I’d be devastated.”

  Buoyed by her softening expression, he kept going. “It was this morning, faced with the reality of never seeing you again, that I realized what a fucking fool I’d been.” He held her hands against his chest. Could she feel his heart racing? “I’d rather have you in my life in even the smallest of ways than not have you at all. I think I know the truest part of you, but I want to know more. Everything. No one can guarantee the future, but I want to be with you now. As much as possible. Will you give us that chance?”

  “I don’t know.” She bit her lower lip and took a deep breath. “I’ve never been the risk taker that you are. Kind of the opposite actually.”

  He shook his head impatiently. “That’s bullshit. You risked your life to escape from the kidnappers, and again to save me from JJ and Harris, and to go back for Megan when you could’ve let the police handle it. You put your life on the line for me during the shootout at the compound… hell, you took a chance by trusting me to keep you safe from the very beginning. That’s who you really are when the chips are down, Linds.”

  Her eyes widened, but she shook her head. “You’re glamorizing it. I had no choice. I hope I never have to do anything like that again.”

  “You always have a choice,” he said. “And I hope I don’t have to face anything like that again too. Whatever you might think, it’s not my idea of fun.”

  “But risking your life for others is literally your job.”

  “Protecting others is my job. There’s a difference.”

  She pulled a face, as if annoyed that he’d won the argument.

  But he didn’t want to win if it meant losing her. “In fact, let me stay with you until Megan’s caught. I can keep you safe, and we can use that time to figure out if this thing between us has a chance.” Before she could object, he said, “I’ll even sleep on the couch or the floor if you want. As much as I’d like to share your bed, I’m after more than sex.” Obviously, best case he’d get all of her, but he’d do whatever she needed in order to start trusting him again, to believe he was serious about her. “Let me show you.”

  Her lips parted and she looked down, her gaze clearly turned inward. He’d give anything to know what she was thinking at that moment.

  And to hold her.

  “It could take weeks or months
. They might never find her,” Lindsey said. “You can’t just move in with me indefinitely.”

  He’d like to. God, it was too soon, but surprisingly, the idea didn’t induce panic. “You’re right, but I can at least check your current security setup, make recommendations for your home, give you some safety tips based on your current routine. I could teach you some key self-defense moves, gun safety, how to shoot…” He gently palmed her upper arms, electrified by that simple contact. “If not me, get someone.” He had to force the words past the hard knot in his throat. “Otherwise I won’t be able to sleep for worrying.” He was not above emotional blackmail to keep her safe.

  “What about Jason?” She asked the one question sure to derail his argument.

  Fuck. “He can’t do it.”

  She graced him with a disbelieving laugh. “You know what I meant.”

  “Yeah. I do need to see him, pronto.” He rubbed her arms, desperate to keep touching her. “You could come home with me for a few days before we go to LA.”

  “I have to get back to work.”

  He raised an eyebrow, calling her out. “Tell your boss that tax season is over and your new hire doesn’t start for almost two weeks.”

  She acknowledged the joke with a wan smile. “She can be a bit of a slave driver.”

  A worrisome thought niggled its way into his brain. “Unless you really don’t want me there. If that’s the case, just say so and I’ll back off. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He dropped his hands and took a step back. He’d made his case. Now he needed to give her the space to make a decision.

  Lindsey shook her head, a hint of amusement in the curve of her sweet lips. “I’m not scared of you, Todd. Not like that. I just…” She blew a piece of hair off her forehead and gave him a rueful smile. “Everything has happened so fast.”

  Plopping into a chair with a long sigh, she said, “One of those annoying quirks you’ll probably learn to hate about me is that I’m a planner. I need as much data as possible to make a decision. I do my research, evaluate the pros and cons, and consider all the alternatives before taking action. You don’t even want to know how much time I spent choosing my car. I don’t know how to just follow my heart. Especially when all the evidence points to failure. Facing all of this uncertainty has thrown me for a loop.”